After the dearth of meager options released last season, the research is completed and tabulated on 2012 Christmas CD’s, and the good news is that the season is bright—not Clark Gridwold bright as in bumper seasons past, but bright enough. Every year, this critic spends hours submersed in the bins at Barnes & Noble, online at Amazon.com, and filtering through iTunes, sifting through every new release, as well as revisiting a few past efforts, in the interest of assembling the perfect pop/rock Christmas playlist, a balanced compilation of contemporary acts, the occasional novelty act, and full on legends. After 2011’s season of mass disappointment, this year was a little more balanced—safe, conventional, and traditional, but overall positive across the genres. Contenders this year included highly anticipated entries from Cee Lo Green, Rod Stewart, John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John together again for the first time in 35 years, and the most recent double entry from the once dominant Very Special Christmas franchise.
First again: the criteria. In this analysis, points are awarded more (at the risk of sounding like an ineffective fourth American Idol judge) for taking a particular selection of music and making it not only entertaining and fresh, but showing the artist one is famed for being in the interpretation–within the boundaries of the material. In other words, we do not want to hear your bluesy, jazz-infused “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” any more than we want to hear your punk rock “O Holy Night”. Also, while new original breakout singles are encouraged, the CD should be heavy on standards and classics. While, theoretically, one might think that eight out of ten original songs would multiply one’s odds of achieving a Christmastime hit for the airwaves, in fact all it does is give this critic seven more reasons not to listen to your album. All of this plus one mandatory restriction that under no circumstance may your CD contain a cover of “Christmas Shoes”. That is grounds not only for disqualification, but for permanent banning from all future lists. Now the results…
MOST DISAPPOINTING CHRISTMAS CD 2012
First off, it must be made clear that this designation is not synonymous with being a bad CD, just falling painfully shy of expectations. For example, past winners have included Wynonna’s beautiful Classic Christmas, which displayed a gorgeous new soft side of her voice with full symphony accompaniment on beautiful standards and hymns. But honestly, Wynonna, when one envisions you, one doesn’t think restraint. Don’t you think your true fans need a little of that huge voice they love you for? Perhaps just one big growling and wailing version of “Blue Christmas” to call your own? Harry Connick has taken the title twice for fair renderings that failed to live up to his New Age Bing Crosby persona, as has Sting for his 2009 entry that was just plain weird even for Sting in his now-cliched pagan way. 2010’s winner was Mariah Carey’s cheesily titled Merry Christmas II You, her lackluster, self-gratuitous follow-up to her 1994 Merry Christmas, one of the most perfect holiday albums ever, and last year’s defending champion was Justin Bieber’s Under the Mistletoe for a sadly missed opportunity to show his youthful, playful energy.
This year’s MOST DISAPPOINTING CD was unanimous, failing every category across the board. Hands down, this year’s title goes to the now certified DOA Very Special Christmas franchise. When it debuted in 1987, A Very Special Christmas lived up to its name, and changed the face of pop Christmas music by featuring innovative arrangements by legendary artists stylizing seasonal standards to their own individual voices. The inaugural volume featured the Boss’ “Merry Christmas Baby”, Annie Lennox’s “Winter Wonderland”, Whitney Houston’s “Do You Hear What I Hear”, and Madonna’s “Santa Baby”, all renditions still receiving heavy seasonal airplay, certifying their timelessness. Its solid follow up Volume 2, released in 1992, added Jon Bon Jovi, Heart, Luther Vandross, and Aretha Franklin to the mix. However from there on, in a misguided attempt to stay more “current”, the star power faded from the 1.21 gigawatt glare of the first to the firefly glow of Volume 7, which contained mostly, for some odd reason, Disney Channel kids (note to producers—if you need to include Mitchell Musso on any “best of” CD, you probably should just not bother recording).
The original was festive when it was supposed to be festive (one can almost hear the party in the studio when the Pointer Sisters recorded “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”), reverent when it was supposed to be reverent, and in retrospect, full of proven classic successes. The current 25th Anniversary volume is just lackluster in terms of energy, originality, and star power (so much so that this reviewer would have marked it up for adding a little Katy Perry or even One Direction). First of all, instead of being all originally recorded material donated to the cause as in the heyday, this one pilfers tracks off Michael Buble, Christina Aguilera, Jewel, Jason Mraz, Dave Matthews Band, and Martina McBride’s previously released albums. The overly morose collection of new entries include tracks such as a festive-free “Joy to the World” by Train and a version of “Do You Hear What I Hear” that is so pale in comparison it’s clear when stacked up against the superlative arrangements by Houston and Vanessa Williams that still grace the radio today. While it should be no surprise that this CD is the loser, as that’s the direction the label has been heading for the last two decades, the extended time off between this and the last entry was hopefully used to regroup. Is it just that there are no legends out there anymore? Is today’s music truly just the comparative garbage it’s blasted for being? A Very Special Christmas: 25 Years and it’s even duller companion piece (so dull it should be included for free), A Very Special Christmas/Peace on Earth featuring “Today’s Top Christian Artists” (a total misnomer, because many “Top Christian Artists” like Amy Grant, Casting Crowns, MercyMe, and Matthew West have put out first class CD’s in the recent years, whereas this is pretty much Music to Put Baby Jesus to Sleep By) lend nothing to dispute those questions, and are effectively a collective one-two punch that has beaten to death this once vibrant and revolutionary series. (Grade: a resounding F)
BEST OVERALL CD 2012
While pop artists usually have the edge, there really is no pat formula for a winner. *Nsync, the little Hanson boys, and even Jessica Simpson have pulled out surprise victories in the past, but other past unequivocal winners have included Josh Groban in 2007 and David Archuleta in 2009 with very reverend and spiritual renditions fueled by their amazing vocals.
After pouring through as many CDs as possible this year, it appears that this was a season for playing it safe. Nothing terribly outrageous, nothing terribly innovative, but nothing terribly bad. It was a year of mostly conventional carols with mostly conventional arrangements, even by some surprisingly not so conventional artists. But on the other hand, they were also mostly all very enjoyable listening, if just not particularly exciting.
One of the more unique entries was Colbie Caillat’s Christmas in the Sand. While on the surface, it appears to be another “I’m a lucky pop star who lives in California where the weather is always superb while you’re stuck living in Sh**ty Weathertown, USA”. It is the musical equivalent of a pleasant 75 degree day—light, sunny, breezy, and easy on the senses. In other words, it plays right into Caillat’s strengths as an engaging if not powerful or important artist. (This critic confesses that Caillat’s top 40 fluffer “Brighter Than the Sun” has played on an endless loop at times when spirits need lifting). Here she infuses mainstream carols with a sunny, beachy feel with even a few Hawaiian touches. She fares best on a Koni-fied arrangement of “Santa Baby” and a hula drum syncopation on “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”. Not your mother’s White Christmas, but perfect for fans of Caillat and the Big Sur. (Grade: A-)
For the Country/Western crowd, there are three solid to respectable entries, Blake Shelton’s Cheers, It’s Christmas, Lady Antebellum’s On This Winter’s Night (an expansion on 2010’s six track A Merry Little Christmas), and American Idol Scotty McCreery’s aptly titled Christmas with Scotty McCreery. McCreery, who recently played a successful intimate concert in Havre de Grace, is the most predictable, easy carols in his easy style. While displaying his musical greenness, his endearing down home-style delivery makes for pleasant listening. Lady Antebellum steps a little outside their box with the new tracks showing some unconventional choices, most successfully on “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”) with Charles Kelly unexpectedly taking the lead while adding a brass and string section to fill out the sound. Of the three, though, Shelton takes the slight edge displaying the most variety and more selections, highlights including a swinging “Blue Christmas” and a nice duet with Mrs. Shelton Miranda Lambert on “Jingle Bell Rock”. While the genre usually makes this critic’s ears bleed, these three entries are universally palatable. (Grades: Shelton, B+; Lady Antebellum, B; McCreery, B-)
Perhaps the most interesting candidate this year was This Christmas, reuniting John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John 35 years after their chart topping success in Grease. And while the thought begs critiques that almost write themselves (“Not so much Danny & Sandy as Danny & Sandy’s Grandparents…”), the long overdue repairing wins over a loyal audience. To be honest, Travolta’s voice has not held up over time, and the questionable decision to have him sing lead most times puts Miss Newton-John out of the comfortable part of her range. Also, the acoustic balance seems oddly off, too heavy on Travolta, too light on Miss Newton-John’s already light voice. But outweighing these liabilities is the basic fact that the duo adore each other and are enjoying their efforts, combined with random guest stars Barbra Streisand, Tony Bennett, and Kenny G dropping in like an old time TV Christmas special. (Side note to Mr. G’s arrogance—you blowing on your clarinet while someone else sings is not a duet; the rest of us call that playing backup.) While a far cry from “You’re the One That I Want”, their best selling duet of all time, even the cuts where Travolta’s vocals falter are still enjoyable enough. The couple fare best on “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” with Streisand (whose vocals even at the age of 70 still reign), a playful role switching “Baby It’s Cold Outside” with Travolta singing the “prey” line (or as it’s known today, the “roofied” line) and Olivia taking the “aggressor” (today, the “rapey”) line. It makes for a fun re-interpretation. The best track however, not surprisingly, is “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, perhaps enhanced just a bit by the sentimental throwback to their last pairing in their heyday. Overall a very enjoyable CD despite its shortcomings. (Grade: A-)
Late entry Glee: The Christmas Album Volume 3 is as dependably solid as (what is left of) fans of the show would expect, full of upbeat standards flavored with energy and youthful appeal. This year’s volume is far more successful than last year’s pale entry. There are solid outings by Chord Overstreet on “Jingle Bell Rock”, Naya Rivera on a particularly reverent “Silent Night”, and the smooth sounds of Darren Criss on the Michael Bublé influenced “White Christmas”. (Faring less well is Chris Colfer’s almost mocking take on the Shania Twain line in the duet.) Newbie cast members are also featured this year to mixed success (cross dressing Alex Newell’s stereotypical stab at Patti LaBelle on “Joy to the World” is almost unbearable), and former stars Lea Michelle and Cory Monteith are relegated to cameo appearances, but the album gets positive marks for spirit and energy, which more than make up for what it lacks in originality and creativity. (Grade: A-)
But this year’s winner of BEST OVERALL CD is Cee Lo Green’s Cee Lo’s Magic Moment. No other entry capitalized on the artist’s strengths and style, with enjoyable and often humorous effects. Saluting influences of seasons past from Chuck Berry to Stevie Wonder to Ray Charles, Green is particularly entertaining on upbeat tunes like “Run Run Rudolph” and “What Christmas Means to Me”, complete with winning back up by the Raelettes. There are misfires, such as the now mystifying but apparently requisite ballad version of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” (Lady Antebellum and even Bublé have made this offbeat and utterly inappropriate choice. Even Carey in her two subsequent remakes understands that this song succeeds best only with all the Phil Spector Wall of Sound bells and whistles intact) and a disappointing version of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” with Straight No Chaser where he pauses any momentum of the song to recite the Seuss in between verses. Still overall, Green has provided a festive CD which on all fronts is the standout of the season. (Grade: A)
The rest of the season’s offering for consideration:
Rod Stewart, Merry Christmas Baby—Hilariously billed in one review as “The Christmas CD Your Mother is Most Excited About”, Stewart plays it safe. The singer infamous for asking us “Do You Think I’m Sexy?” and complementing our “Hot Legs” falls back on unstrained vocals of standard arrangements. This is definitely the grandfather of the artist who rocked the sensibilities of the day in “Tonight’s the Night”, but a restrained Stewart still has style which works on a Christmas CD. Grade: B+
Pentatonix, PTXmas–if this had been a full scale release, it would have been a contender for most disappointing CD. Undoubtedly the most innovative group to ever perform on The Sing-Off, PTX was known for their unique ability to make five voices outsing entire choirs and mimic full orchstrations. Here, they seem to sound like the trappings of every other a capella choir around. Not a bad offering, just disappointing for the potential of the group. Grade: C+
Stars of the Disney Channel, Disney Channel Holiday Playlist—Updating the title of the former A Disney Channel Christmas franchise doesn’t update the result. Typical auto-tuned outings from the typical stock fabricated talent. Youthful exuberance raises its grade half a point. Grade: C-
Stars of Teen Nick, Merry Nickmas!–-On the flip side, Nickelodeon’s counterpart is actually quite engaging, mostly due to the fact that they employ real talent with real voices. This entry would have received greater consideration in the competition if it had not contained mostly releases from past years finally compiled on a long overdue Christmas CD to compete with Disney. Veteran Victoria Justice, network Wünderkind Drake Bell, and fake but fun boy band Big Time Rush provide genuine entertainment. Grade: B+
Various Artists, Holidays Rule—Compilations this season continue to fall short in the same vein that the Very Special Christmas entries fail, all adding to the lack of talent today theory. One or two rare exceptions elevate their grade slightly above their competitors. Grade: D+
Katherine Jenkins, This is Christmas—If you like gorgeous classical music by gorgeous classical singers, this is for you. If crystalline soprano vocals sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, pass. Grade: a guarded A- (not for everybody)
Richard Marx, Christmas Spirit—See the Rod Stewart review above, minus the sexual references. Another pleasant but not outstanding outing for those where were there in the 80’s. Grade: B
After all consideration, featured below is Mark’s Christmas Playlist 2012 (in order to be played, not by merit):
ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE 2012
1. IT’S NOT CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU (Victoria Justice & the Cast of “Victorious”)--Once upon a time, the Disney Channel used to have the Midas touch in selecting young talent guaranteed to achieve meteoric success (Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling, Shia LeBeouf). In recent years, however, the organization has since reduced its product to telegenic Hollywood faces who fizzle out at legal age. By contrast, Teen Nick prides itself on vocal talent, and the cast of Victorious is its crowning achievement—a cast hand picked from the top young New York Broadway talent that mesh into a tight comic ensemble like the cast of Friends transplanted to a performing arts high school. This fun, upbeat original tune features real vocal power all around, courtesy of lead lines by Justice and powerhouses Elizabeth Gillies and Ariana Grande (both discovered in Broadway’s teen hit 13) providing a great start to the list.
2. WINTER WONDERLAND (Selena Gomez & the Scene)--Almost solely for turning out to be the complete antithesis to her out of control Disney Channel counterpart Miley Cyrus (who is 12 minutes from being a complete Lohan and living up to her “I Can’t Be Tamed” title), Gomez merits recognition for maintaining an age appropriate image, age appropriate dating habits, and seeming to have remained grounded, as well as her engaging, slightly rocked version here which earns her a spot on the list.
3. SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN (the Cast of Glee)--Another typically respectable outing from New Directions, leads Cory Monteith and Mark Salling have fun putting on their best junior Springsteens to tackle the Pointer Sisters cover of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, even if Salling doesn’t have half the testosterone of Ruth Pointer in the booming bass solos.
4. RUN RUN RUDOLPH (CeeLo Green)–A fun Chuck Berry-esque arrangement and smooth vocal backup by the Rae-lettes all add to the magic referred to in the title of the album.
5. CHRISTMAS (BABY PLEASE COME HOME) (Lady Antebellum)--Nice change of pace by the trio, changing gears from C&W to full-on Wall of Sound.
6. SANTA BABY (Colby Caillat)–Cool hula sounds pair with Caillat’s equally breezy vocals for an engaging version of the standard.
7. WHITE CHRISTMAS (Michael Bublé & Shania Twain)--Upbeat, swing version of the classic patterned after the 50’s Drifters version, with the addition of his usual big band, Bublé & Twain complement each other vocally here.
8. ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE (John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John)—As the perpetual title of the playlist, the Brenda Lee classic is required every year. Former Danny Zuko & Sandy Olson’s retro version succeeds on most fronts, but mostly for being a great reminder of a classic past.
9. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU (Extra Festive Version, 2010) (Mariah Carey)--Being a little short on upbeat offerings this traditional year, it merited revisiting this remastered cut of the modern classic (not to be confused with her “Super Festive Version” with Justin Bieber in 2011). Other than a revised intro and a slightly stronger beat, it’s hard to hear the difference from the 1994 original. But that’s a good thing, Carey being one of the few to understand she nailed it first time out and not to tamper with a good thing. Nice remake.
10. WE THREE KINGS (Rod Stewart & Mary J. Blige)–The cut with the most individual character, and the odd pairing of Stewart’s even more wheezy vocals with Blige’s soulful power work nicely here. It’s almost like Crosby and Bowie 50 years later.
11. WHAT CHRISTMAS MEANS TO ME (CeeLo Green)--Another great cut in the same vein as Rudolph, Target has picked this up as their commercial theme, making it a relevent entry in the 2012 Christmas landscape.
12. JINGLE BELLS (Drake Bell)--The other entry from the Teen Nick compilation, Bell is one of the most underrated young performers of his generation. His solo albums are full of his original compositions that mimic the influences of a young McCartney and Lennon, and Nickelodeon has wisely commissioned his talents to write the infectious theme songs of all its successful teen shows, from Drake & Josh to Zoey 101, ICarly, and Victorious. Jingle Bells is a hard song to find a non-Como arrangement of, and this cut from the finale movie Merry Christmas Drake & Josh surfaced long overdue and merits inclusion for its Brian Setzer-like rockabilly guitar work by Bell.
13 CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU (One Republic)–From Holidays Rule, one of the few contemporary pop artists that blended in here, in an attempt to give the list a 2012 feel.
14. COME ON, CHRISTMAS (Matthew West)--Another bouncy cut from last year’s album, to bolster the upbeat quotient.
15. BLUE CHRISTMAS (Blake Shelton)--With Christina Aguilera and Adam Levine (via Maroon 5) having made the list in seasons past and Cee Lo topping it this year, it seemed unfair not to include the 4th Voice judge here considering he offered a decent CD this year.
16. SILENT NIGHT (Celtic Thunder)–This haunting version by the perennial PBS favorites, the apparent love children of The Three Tenors and Riverdance, shows the appeal of their international brand. Nice additional touch starting the song out in Gaelic before switching to English.
17. WHEN CHILDREN RULE THE WORLD (Clark Sterling & the Piedmont Children’s Choir)--This year’s requisite obscure offering, the original version of the Andrew Lloyd-Webber song from Whistle Down the Wind before all the Christmas references were removed in the London revisal, San Francisco regional theatrical entrepreneur Sterling wisely paired with a local children’s choir in this rare recording of a lost theatrical gem.
18. CHRISTMAS IS COMING (Ross Lynch)–A Disney Channel rarity—a young man who can actually sing—Lynch was included partly due to this year’s search for the upbeat but also out of thanks that the Disney Channel can finally, after nearly a decade, stop shoving talent-free Mitchell Musso down our throats as their sole male singing star.
19. I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (John Travolta,Olivia Newton-John, & Barbra Streisand)–Classic song, classic voices, invoking great memories.
20. O HOLY NIGHT (Celine Dion)--Oddly enough, reviewing volumes 1-11 of this playlist, it turns out this superlative recording of the most beautiful Christmas hymn has never been included, usually due to it’s exceedingly long running time. At well over 5 minutes, it has always been bumped for an alternative version to save CD space. Time not being an issue this year, Dion’s soaring vocals finally grace and anchor the home stretch of this playlist.
21. HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS (Michael Bublé)— Bublé simply doing what Bublé does best—proving his merit as heir apparent to the title of new age Andy Williams. A pitch perfect closing, gracefully winding down from Dion’s vocal dynamics.
(All selections available for preview or purchase at Amazon.com and iTunes)