‘Tis once again the season, and the research is completed and tabulated on 2014 Christmas CD’s. Every year since 2000, this critic, who once used to spend weeks in the holiday bins at Barnes & Noble, now does the leg work at any hour of the day or night filing through pages of mp3s at Amazon.com and iTunes, sifting through every new release he can find, as well as revisiting a few past efforts, in the interest of assembling the perfect pop/rock Christmas playlist, a balanced compilation of contemporary acts, the occasional novelty act, and full on legends. The last few years have turned out a vast variety of entries and gave birth to some of the best playlists since the inaugural CD, while 2013 produced some of the best CD’s of the decade from which to work.
Contenders this year included Broadway to pop crossover Idina Menzel, 90s rock to country crossover Darius Rucker, fallen country princess LeAnn Rimes, NBC’s Sing Off 2012 and 2013 champions Pentatonix and Home Free, and surprise entries by Seth MacFarlane (for real) and the cast of TV’s Nashville (thanks for nothing, final season of Glee). First off, after the embarrassment of riches over the last few years, there were no expectations of another Kelly Clarkson or Leona Lewis And there weren’t. But there were many very good, stylistically varied entries that made for a very pleasant evaluation period.
First again: the criteria. (Regular readers can skip this paragraph. The rules will never change.) In this analysis, points are awarded more (at the risk of sounding like an ineffective fourth American Idol judge) for taking a particular selection of music and making it not only entertaining and fresh, but showing the artist one is famed for being in the interpretation–within the boundaries of the material. In other words, we do not want to hear your bluesy, jazz-infused “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” any more than we want to hear your punk rock “O Holy Night”. Also, while new original breakout singles are encouraged, the CD should be heavy on standards and classics. While, theoretically, one might think that eight out of ten original songs would multiply one’s odds of achieving a Christmastime hit for the airwaves, in fact all it does is give this critic seven more reasons not to listen to your album. All of this plus one mandatory restriction that under no circumstance may your CD contain a cover of “Christmas Shoes”. That is grounds not only for disqualification, but for permanent banning from all future lists. Now the results…
MOST DISAPPOINTING CHRISTMAS CD 2014
First off, it must be made clear that this designation is not synonymous with being a bad CD, just falling painfully shy of expectations. For example, past winners have included Wynonna’s beautiful Classic Christmas, which displayed a gorgeous new soft side of her voice with full symphony accompaniment on beautiful standards and hymns. But honestly, Wynonna, when one envisions you, one doesn’t think restraint. Don’t you think your true fans need a little of that huge voice they love you for? Perhaps just one big growling and wailing version of “Blue Christmas” to call your own? On the other hand, they can be genuinely dreadful. 2010’s winner was Mariah Carey’s cheesily titled Merry Christmas II You her lackluster, self-gratuitous follow-up to her 1994 Merry Christmas, one of the most perfect holiday albums ever recorded, and in 2011 it was Justin Bieber’s Under the Mistletoe for a sadly missed opportunity to show a youthful, playful energy. 2012’s anti-champion, the long awaited double CD from the Very Special Christmas franchise, holds the distinction of being possibly the most disappointing (and, in this case, dreadful) album ever, and last year’s loser was an entire line of deceivingly repackaged Christmas Classic albums made to suggest they were new material.
This year’s MOST DISAPPOINTING CD was looking to be a consolation contest of the least of some decent CDs. Then, a week after all other holiday albums had been released, LeAnn Rimes dropped the biggest holiday turkey of the approaching season, the cryptically titled One Christmas: Chapter One, and rendered the competition moot.
Let’s back up a bit historically with Miss Rimes’ VH1 Behind the Music story. In 1996 at the age of 14, she meteorically assaulted the country charts with her version of “Blue”, and immediately garnered macro-attention hailing her as the second coming of Patsy Cline. Several Grammy’s, CMA’s, and American Music Awards later, Rimes, arguably possessing one of the most powerful voices in modern country music, seemed poised to become Opry royalty. But instead, the new millennium has been pretty much a decade and a half long, living, breathing bad country western ballad for Rimes. She sued her manager father for absconding with millions, married a back up dancer, then divorced him after initiating a high profile, double adulterous affair with likewise married actor Eddie Cibrian on the set of a Lifetime for Women movie (which strengthens this critic’s point that nothing good comes from Lifetime for Women). Somehow in this day of Anything Goes Hollywood where Angelina Jolie can steal Brad Pitt from America’s sweetheart Jennifer Aniston and Meg Ryan can leave Dennis Quaid for a reckless fling with perpetual bad boy Russell Crow and no one blinks (well, some of us blinked. Often), for some reason, Rimes’ down home fan base reacted violently against her moral turpitude. Ever since, the Rimes-Cibrian union has been a professional train wreck. Cibrian, once a handsome, dependable TV leading Everyman, became Neilson ratings poison, and Rimes CDs ended up in the $5 clearance bin. In order to counteract all the negative publicity and fan dysfunction, they attempted that fail-safe way to win America’s hearts back—producing a reality show of their day to day life to portray them as the good, decent, moral people they really are. What it actually showed us is that there really are as bad and unlikable as we thought. Again, ironically, a society that will embrace any version of demon Barbie and Ken doll dating show, every talent-free talent competition, and any Kardashian-based piece of TV garbage they can devour, failed to embrace this misunderstood couple. Every step they have taken to redeem their reputation has backfired miserably, to the point of actually making the ex-Mrs. Cibrian, Unreal Housewife from Beverly Hills Brandi Glanville, the very definition of Gucci trailer trash chic, the sympathetic one in this Pythagorean mushroom cloud.
Hence we come to Rimes’ latest attempt to endear, a CD filled with holiday cheer. I truly had hope that this might be a step in the right direction of taking the focus off her bad life decisions and placing it back where it belongs, on her musical gifts. If only. One Christmas: Chapter One, containing only six tracks, is a hollow, dour, flat recording that sounds as if she was dragged into the studio by her manager after a hard night of alcohol and quaaludes. In other words, it dovetails completely into her track of misguided rejuvenation. Apparently the Rimes-Cibrians could only afford two high school guitar players and Rimes herself sounds tired, dull, and unwilling throughout. “Silent Night”, a fairly easy song to make pleasing, takes off into notes three keys off some other page. “Blue Christmas” shows no sign of the Ghost of Patsy Cline Past, and her version of “Hard Candy Christmas”, innately a bittersweet song, eschews all of Dolly Parton’s musical builds and her willful optimism by the end, choosing to stay in the one note, self-pitying zone of comfort food and pajama pants. Out of respect for what Miss Rimes once was, we won’t even discuss the embarrassment of “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” The word “stupefying” was being considered. It’s sad, because one cannot argue that LeAnn Rimes is talented. One would just never gather that from this. Is she just that beat down? Has Brandi Glanville actually been handed the last laugh here? Lets’ just say that this critic’s Christmas wish is please, Santa, let there be coal in our stockings before Chapter Two next year. (Grade: F. Karma’s a b****)
THE CONTENDERS
While pop artists like 2013’s Kelly Clarkson and defending champion Leona Lewis usually have the edge, there really is no pat formula for a winner. Past recipients have included acts as varied as pop sensations *Nsync and the little Hanson boys, to completely reverent, almost classical fare from Josh Groban and David Archuleta. After pouring through as many CDs as possible this year, the good news is that the rest of the offerings are exceedingly pleasant.
Former Sing Off Champions Pentatonix release their second and a half CD in three years. Following on the success of last years Deluxe Edition of 2012’s limited release PTXmas, they continue to transcend the limits of traditional a capella singing with this year’s That’s Christmas to Me. While there is really nothing new in their approach, they continue in the direction of expanding what a capella means. They make mazimum use of lone girl soprano Kirstie Maldonado, but their secret to success is amazing bass Avi Kaplan, whose presence is felt through every key moment of every song. Together, they pull off a version of “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” that starts with a traditional introduction but transitions surprisingly well into gospel and urban movements. They devote the bulk of their effort, like last year’s superior “Little Drummer Boy”, to another lesser valued piece, “Mary Did You Know?” with a near equal pay off. Their meticulously layered sounds and harmonies magnify and maximize their efforts. They even succeed with a touchy proposition, an arrangement of the ubiquitous “Let It Go” from Frozen. But with their proficient arrangements and in the capable hands of Maldonano’s warm and balanced lead vocals, Pentatonix give the song a new life, especially when realizing that they are with merely four other vocalists achieving what it took a studio full of Disney musicians to produce. (Grade: A)
Another strong release is from 90’s pop icon Darius Rucker, formerly the artist know as Hootie, who in the past decade has decided to make a Blowfish-less transition to country solo artist. “But, Hootie,” you say, “you’re a black man singing country/western music,” which is as unheard of as…a black man singing country/western music. And therein lies the dilemma of Darius Rucker. His past outings have seemed overly safe, overly sterile. It’s almost as if he feared the disapproval of the good old rednecked boys to whom he was now pandering. The good news is that five years after his last appearance on the list, he seems to have made peace with the dichotomy and has begun to show a little more of the Hootie charm in Home for the Holidays. Whether solemn with a tinge of gospel on “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” or a little more of his “Hold My Hand” blue-eyed soul on “Please Come Home for Christmas”, he displays comfort and variety that his earlier work lacked. But the standout is his amped up remake of his previous entry, “Winter Wonderland”. The 2009 version, from one of those uninspired country artist compilations, sounded like he was singing karaoke. The update is a full out two-stepping swing, making one almost long for a Blowfish reunion. No need, Rucker has found a way to solo in country music while finally allowing his inner Hootie to shine. (Grade: A)
We also received a surprising novelty entry from TV funny man Seth MacFarlane with Holiday for Swing! However the surprise is on us. The novelty is that instead of inserting laughs and humor, MacFarlane is pretty legit. We know he has an innate love for musical theatre and has sung from Family Guy to the Oscars (will anyone forget his serenade to leading actress nominees “We Saw Your Boobs”?). But MacFarlane puts the funny guy aside and displays a solid baritone crooner on a selection of favorites both expected (“Let It Snow” and “ I’ll Be Home for Christmas”) and not (unearthing the old gem “Snow” from White Christmas). He’s not a professional singer and at times comes across like a good baritone you know from community theatre, but he does not embarrass himself, and rises to duets with Nora Jones on ”Little Jack Frost” and Sara Bareilles in an entertaining “Baby It’s Cold Outside” with a genuinely playful chemistry. (Grade: B+)
Earth, Wind, & Fire achieved almost the opposite. Their Holiday, by professional singers, seemed almost like a one note joke. While receiving bonus points for maintaining their familiar artistic EWF sound, one gets the feeling that most of the songs were just recorded over the instrumental tracks for “September”. One actually was, now entitled “December”. Maybe this sounded like a good idea over a couple of eggnogs. (Grade: C-)
The stars of TV’s hit musical drama turned out an unexpected entry in Christmas With Nashville. Fully expecting to hear another lame compilation of country’s big names warming over recycled cuts from their 2003 solo albums, I was pleasantly surprised instead that it was Connie Britton, Hayden Panattiere, Jonathan Jackson and the rest of the cast of the ABC hit. Professional actors from TV, Broadway, soap operas, and even Australian stage pretending to be country western singers may seem a little like Victor/Victoria at the Opry, but it works. The album is country enough to please the hard core fans, and country-ish enough to please the hard core critics. Big marks go to Austrailan songbird Clare Bowen belting a splashy, big band “Santa Baby”, guest star Will Chase (wrecking yet another TV marriage) on a gentle, moving “O Little Town of Bethlehem/Away in a Manger” mash-up, and reigning diva Connie Britton putting a rousing honky tonk, “Turn Back O Man” spin on “You’re a Mean One , Mr. Grinch.” The one drawback is the absence of sexually confused hunk Chris Carmack. The addition of one of his driving country rocker tracks like, say, a cover of John Cougar’s “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” would have made Christmas With Nashville almost perfect, This one would have received bonus points alone for doing what Glee failed to do this year, giving to their fan base, but they didn’t need the extra credit. If only real Nashville country compilations put as much thought and energy into their offerings as this Christmas love letter, I might be more of a country fan. (Grade: A)
BEST OVERALL CD 2014
Best Overall this year, even with the variety of solid entries above, again comes down to two equally pleasing but very different offerings.
Music fans this season should be immensely grateful to the movie Pitch Perfect (for reasons beyond the existence of Fat Amy). For perceived lack of interest, NBC had canceled The Sing Off after Pentatonix stunned and dominated season 3. But when PP became an unexpected mega-success the following summer, they resurrected the competition and anointed as season 4 champions crowned princes of county-capella, Home Free. [Aside, a recently announced season 5’s strange one night only competition airs December 17. It can’t hurt to DVR it.] A Minnesota based quintet who elected to go country only to set themselves apart from the other entries, the guys of Home Free reinvented themselves as the country cousins of genre legends Rock-apella. Combining all the vocal and musical richness of Pentatonix with Rock-apella’s playful guy appeal, Home Free succeeds in taking the sound in their own direction and graced us with Best Overall CD finalist Full of Cheer. The natural break out track here is Elmo & Patsy’s “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”, and even those on whom this song grates have to appreciate their engaging take on the tune, peppering it with clever riffs and humorous interjections, all the while employing flawless vocals. If the secret of Pentatonix is all about the bass, Home Free’s success goes the other end of the scale with crystal voiced power tenor Austin Brown. Whenever Brown takes the lead, their music soars, especially in the latter half of his chill inducing “O Holy Night”. A nice mix of traditional and contemporary selections, even their original pieces are catchy and blend solidly into the flow of the CD. Special recognition goes to the title song which, after being set up with the album title, cover picture, and even the intro itself, turns out to leave the joke on the listener with a very clever twist. The slightest criticism, ironically, is Brown covering “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” with Kira Isabella. While vocally perfect, Brown is honestly the most ineffective seducer ever to record the standard. He does nothing wrong, but in his delivery, let’s just say he seems to be genuinely concerned for his house guest and more interested in turning down the guest bed and making hot chocolate. This album is the season’s treat, and one can only hope the group follows the path of their predecessors and gives us the gift of annual albums throughout the foreseeable future. (Grade: A+ [that translates to a big “Yee-haw!” for the country voters])
Broadway semi-legend Idina Menzel crossed over to legitimate pop princess status thanks to her turn as Elsa the Snow Queen in Disney megahit Frozen. When her cover of the Oscar winning “Let It Go” surpassed the intended radio release by Demi Lovato, it became one of the most successful Disney songs ever, and the only one to utilize the character version from the movie over the end title remake in modern history. Following that with a return to Broadway in If/Then, Menzel continues to ride her meteor this year and released her first Christmas CD, Holiday Wishes. Conventional in many ways, contemporary in others, Menzel achieves a very pleasant balance of many styles. Although sometimes her vocal technique seems a bit labored and even put on, she of the oddly executed vowels, dropped consonants, and strangely inserted non-existent consonants, (anyone remember “The Wizard and L-I”?), she has always succeeded best with songs ranging from the upbeat to the intensely driving, and she plays her cards well here. Relying less on perfect technique and theatrics than most of her show tune peers and more on her personality and sincerity (she was the perfect complementary antithesis to Kristen Chenoweth in Wicked in virtually every level imaginable), she scores highest on selections like a jazzy swing version of “All I Want for Christmas”, a near Whitney/Vanessa worthy “Do You Hear What I Hear?”, and one of the most naturally playful duets of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” recently recorded with Michael Bublé. She’s also equally effective when she pulls back on more reserved standards like “The Christmas Song” or revealing her natural innate vulnerability on “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” While her original tracks are forgettable, and most of her arrangements go on a full minute to minute and a half longer than necessary, overall Menzel has in effect, yet again, defied gravity, compiling a multi-faceted balance of contemporary and standard, and always enjoyable, holiday listening pleasure (Grade: A+)
As far as crowning a winner, it was another extremely tight race, with Home Free‘s sleeper entry Full of Cheer inching ahead as a more perfect album. Even on the minor points—no dull spots, great flow, original songs as good as the standards—not to mention flawless singing, Home Free seemed in a slight lead. But there is a nagging problem with all a capella albums that, as amazing as they may be, they sometimes seem to miss a little of the assist a good instrumental arrangement adds in comparison. Even so, Full of Cheer is still that strong. But the sentimental factor of Menzel kept creeping in. After over two decades in show business and a recent messy, public divorce from Taye Diggs, 2014 really has been her year. From break out movie to break out song to Oscar winning vocal performance to Broadway return to her first Christmas album, it would take the Grinch himself to rain on her Christmas parade. So call 2014 the Year of Idina Menzel all around, and Holiday Wishes as its Best Overall CD. However,as a personal Christmas wish, may the boys from Home Free have many chances to repeat.
Now, as far as the resulting playlist, this year’s list was pretty straightforward for the first time when combining the obvious best of this season with the unusually strong second best of 2013. Remember, this is a playlist, not just a list of best songs. Some songs make it or don’t depending solely on what they add—the right style, the right balance of pop and standard, sometimes even just the right transition in the right tempo and key to make the list flow. Also, there is a limit of two tracks by the best artists, just so the playlist doesn’t turn into playing someone’s augmented Christmas CD. Good cuts sometimes appear a year later for better fit. And for maybe the first time with no apologies and no regrets, I give you Mark’s Christmas Playlist 2014 (in order to be played, not by merit):
ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE 2014
1. UNDERNEATH THE TREE (Kelly Clarkson)--Last year’s breakout radio hit from Wrapped in Red, this should have made the list last year but lost out to even better standards. Instead, it provides a great kick off to this year’s playlist.
2. ONE MORE SLEEP (Leona Lewis)--Last year’s should have been breakout radio hit (because we can only add one in today’s narrow view of pop music and Miss Clarkson commanded that above), Miss Lewis’ full on Wall of Sound approach was a welcome contrast to previous seasons’ predictable fare. It’s hard to believe these ladies alone recorded four songs better than these two. Clarkson and Lewis provided mega star watt CDs in 2013. Even after picking the best, they still give a great 1-2 punch in leftovers. Expect their collections to be picked over for the next few years.
3. WINTER WONDERLAND (Darius Rucker)--Although he already earned a spot on the 2009 playlist with this same song from a country compilation Christmas CD, Rucker upped the ante with a bigger, brassier, James Brownier arrangement and becomes only the second artist after Mariah to be given space for a remake of a performance. Forget 2009, this one is the winner.
4. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU (Idina Menzel)–It was a natural for Menzel to cover Mariah’s perennial hit. It provides everything she does best in a playful, jazz swing arrangement. Even if it goes on a full minute and a half too long.
5. RUN RUN RUDOLPH (Big Bad Voodoo Daddy)--After also placing two cuts on last year’s list, this shows how strong last year’s competition was. With a hint of Ike & Tina Do Mardi Gras sound, this is another track of good ol’ N’Orleans style fun.
6. CHRISTMAS (BABY PLEASE COME HOME) (Jonathan Jackson)--Luke & Laura Spencer’s little boy Lucky all grown up and singing Darlene Love. What else needs to be said?
7. DO THEY KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS? (2014) (Band Aid 30)--A 30th Anniversary remake of the Bob Geldoff 80’s staple, now benefiting Ebola research and cure, updated itself by combining contemporary performers such as Chris Martin, Sam Smith, Ellie Goulding, Rita Oro, and One Direction with veterans Geldoff, Bono, and Sinead O’Connor. While it plays fine, it also reinforces in the process that we are correct in our statements that, apparently even in England, pop music is not what it was 30 years ago. While we certainly appreciated Phil Collins, Paul McCartney, Boy George, Duran Duran, and David Bowie, this remake shows us by today’s standards, we seriously took even the likes of George Michael, Bananarama, the Boomtown Rats, and Spandau Ballet for granted.
8. SILVER BELLS (Colbie Callait)—Her 2012 Christmas in the Sand, a Hawaii influenced holiday offering to rub in the faces of us who aren’t fortunate to live in a perpetual summer paradise was full of such light, breezy offerings like this.
9. GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER (Home Free)--Always kind of neutral on the original Elmo & Patsy 70’s version, seeing why some liked it and why it annoyed others, this is actually a perfect selection for the amiable 2013 Sing Off kings, allowing them ample leeway to utilize a lot of clever musical play and lyrical riffs between the lines and verses. Passing around the lead vocals, this is a great match for their fun loving musical antics in a solid and always entertaining a capella arrangement.
10. YOU’RE A MEAN ONE, MR. GRINCH (Connie Britton)—Perhaps the first swing at this post-modern classic by a woman, Nashville’s Britton takes an unexpected approach and goes full on Jessica Rabbit atop a honky tonk piano with a “Turn Back O Man” approach and nails it.
11. MARY, DID YOU KNOW? (Pentatonix)--Not one of my favorite seasonal songs mostly because it is usually so repetitive and spends minutes just lying in the same zone, in the hands of Pentatonix it’s a different story. Performing their usual vocal magic like on last year’s “The Little Drummer Boy”, they give this song all the vocal layers, dynamics, and builds it usually lacks, again succeeding in achieving more depth from their five smart voices than most choirs of twenty and a superior arrangement of an inferior song.
12. JINGLE BELL ROCK (Newsboys)--A solid cut from the Christian rock band that ironically released an entirely secular Christmas CD.
13. PLEASE COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (Kelly Clarkson)--Actually I wanted to give this track to Darius Rucker, but that would have been an unheard of third spot on the same season’s playlist. So, instead, Clarkson received this song in an almost equally solid rock blues performance from last year. In other words, expect Hootie’s version to show up in 2015.
14. ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE (Davy Jones)--Remastered and released as a posthumous salute after his 2012 passing, it gave me another decent version of the always necessary title song without having to result to a warmed over Glee version being saved for a dry year. We miss you, Davy Jones, and will always admire you for the good work you did with the Monkees and the good deed you did for Marcia Brady’s school dance.
15. BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE (Sarah Bareilles & Seth MacFarlane)--Bareilles provides MacFarlane a playful opponent in this standard battle of sexual resistence. Even if Bareilles wins the vocals if not the chase around the sofa, MacFarlane is actually a worthy opponent here on both fronts.
16. HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS (Idina Menzel)--Just a second good cut, and at a perfect running time, to fit the playlist.
17. MR. RIGHT Leona Lewis)--The second original track from last year, Lewis nailed the 60s girl group sound yet again. How did this album not get more attention (outside of my playlist) last year? Major fail for the radio industry.
18. SANTA BABY (Clare Bowen)--An Australian songbird playing a country/western starlet belting a big band arrangement of Eartha Kitt’s classic. Again, you know who’s compiling the list, right?
19. HARK! THE HERALD ANGELS SING (Darius Rucker)--Again, Rucker gives us a slightly richer and more soulful arrangement than he’s attempted in the past. In a playlist shy on traditional carols, this was a given.
20. O LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM/AWAY IN A MANGER (Will Chase)--Broadway star Chase, also playing a country/western veteran gives just the right amount of grizzled soul to this gentle holiday mash-up. It’s touching enough to almost make us forgive Chase for breaking up Debra Messings’ marriage on Smash. Almost.
21.O HOLY NIGHT (Home Free)–And just when you’ve had 30 minutes of playful holiday fun from the boys of Home Free, they turn the tables to the solemn and show you why they really deserved to win last year’s Sing Off. Smooth vocals, tight harmonies, and even if they play it a little safe in the beginning, when they turn it over to soaring, crystal voiced Austin Brown to take home, he does not disappoint. A beautiful and moving rendition that I would expect from this quintet.
22. LET IT GO (Pentatonix)–Shut up, it’s just that good.
(All selections available for preview or purchase at Amazon.com and iTunes.)